The more of these moments I have, the more connected I feel with my kids. I think it's these moments that create the whole experience, and we should do what we can to have an army of them.
To decide on an activity in the midst of everyday life isn't always easy. It is rare and it is special. And we all should be looking for more of those moments, even if they're hard to come by.
Here are some ideas that might give you one of those moments:
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The kind of thing that sticks around for a lifetime.
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For Families who love games
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We think these ideas will bring you joy in any small moments you're able to grasp.
'Never forget that when a child gives you a gift, even if it is just a flower, in their eyes, they are choosing to give you the most precious thing they have to give'
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A Mother's Reflection on Prioritising Affection and Bedtime Peace
As a mother reflecting on the past, there's an undeniable realisation that resolutions revolving around family life matter the most. The desire to create resolutions that encapsulate our family's growth, harmony, and closeness have often taken a back seat to goals around finances and career.
Reflecting on the past, I'm able to see what could have made our daily family life better.
Two big things stick out - don't overlook the little moments and do all you can to craft a serene bedtime routine - it makes an incredible difference!
During the early years, bedtime was our toughest challenge. Looking back, I realise we made a mistake—we tried to keep the kids calm while juggling dishes, packing lunches, doing laundry and so on. No wonder they were running around like crazy. We were too.
So, here's to all the parents out there, two simple ways to bring more love and peace into family life.
In the whirlwind of daily routines, it's easy to overlook the small yet meaningful moments of affection. We've decided that no matter how small the act is, any intentional effort to express love and appreciation is 1000% worth it. It's in the gentle bedtime stories, telling a joke at dinner, writing a tiny note to leave on their pillow, and the comforting hugs after a long day.
It's about creating an environment where love is never simply assumed but expressed and felt in more of your daily interactions.
A peaceful bedtime ritual sets the stage for restful sleep and fosters a sense of security and calmness within the family. Looking back, I see the missed opportunities in the early years to create a serene bedtime environment, often ending up with the complete opposite!
In the coming year, why not resolve to create the most peaceful bedtime routine you could imagine? It could start with winding down an hour before bedtime—use this time to engage in quiet activities, dim lights, and talk in quieter voices. Maybe you could establish a routine where one of their toys "goes to bed" at a specific time, prompting the need for quietness? Reading is an ideal way to end the time and helps to wind down and relax, ready for sleep.
Let's make this year a canvas for cozy moments, weaving love into our days and bedtime routines. As parents, let's dive into this journey, knowing that tiny acts of love and peaceful bedtime habits stitch our family bonds.
It's not the big gestures but the everyday love and bedtime calmness that make a family's story special.
Here's to a year filled with warmth, cuddles, and bedtime tranquility. May our resolutions blend with the heart of family, crafting a life full of treasured moments and lasting ties.
Here's to '24 x
]]>Reading with siblings can be a heartwarming and beneficial activity for both children and adults. Not only does it provide a chance for siblings to bond and spend quality time together, but it also has a range of cognitive and social benefits.
One of the major benefits of siblings reading to each other is the opportunity for improved reading skills. By reading aloud to their siblings, children can practice their fluency and expression and become more confident, skilled readers. This can also be a great way for siblings to help each other learn new words and improve their vocabulary.
In addition to the cognitive benefits, reading together can also be a great opportunity for siblings to bond and strengthen their relationship. It can create a sense of teamwork and cooperation as they work together to understand and enjoy a book. Reading together can also be a relaxing and enjoyable activity that helps siblings de-stress and feel connected to each other.
Reading with siblings can also expose children to new ideas and concepts that they may not have encountered on their own. This can help them expand their knowledge and understanding of the world around them and spark their curiosity and imagination.
Reading together can also help siblings improve their communication skills. As they discuss the book and share their thoughts and opinions with each other, they learn to effectively communicate and listen to one another. This can also be a great way for siblings to practice their critical thinking skills and learn to express themselves clearly and effectively.
Reading with siblings can also boost self-esteem and confidence. As children become more skilled and confident readers, they may feel proud of their achievements and more positive about themselves!
So next time your siblings have some free time, consider offering them a chance to snuggle up with a good book and enjoying some quiet time reading together.
Shop All: https://thekissco.co.nz/collections/all
]]>I know it somewhere deep down but when it comes time to tell people about it, it's hard to find the right words.
So when I read the post below from one of our new stores, Little Explorers Toy Shop in North Queensland - my heart exploded, as it feels like my intention is out there living all on its own.
The Kiss Co is not about being the perfect parent, or being present all of the time, it is about giving what you can - even if its 10 minutes at storytime - it is enough.
We beat ourselves up as parents so often and there's no way to get it all right, just being a safe place to snuggle up with at night is enough to fill their little buckets up.
I would love nothing more than giving parents the words to say 'I love you' after a busy day.
]]>Nicole's words ....
"Have you ever thought about your love language? As a parent I try my best but parenting is hard. I am not always present, I don’t always say the right thing, and I am not always the fun parent.Sometimes, my love language is different to my kids.
But every night, I read my kids a book, give them a cuddle, a kiss on the forehead and tell them I love them.
That cuddle and kiss means more than what they probably realise. When I came across these books from The Kiss Co, I knew I had to have them, to help bridge that gap in our love languages and to help them understand how much their cuddles mean to me.
And so that when I am not around or they are having a hard day, they have the book or those cute little kiss toys, to help them when they need comforting. Maybe even when they are older, they will read it to their children and still be reminded of my love and my cuddles."
Nicole, Little Explorers Toy Shop
Fanta, marshmallows, cherrios, lollipops, chips, fairy bread - it is all so much fun! Carrot sticks, celery - not so much.
When I plan a party I want my children to have all of the fun and exciting party food but I don't want the Godzilla-esque scene to deal with afterwards.
]]>Fanta, marshmallows, cherrios, lollipops, chips, fairy bread - it is all so much fun! Carrot sticks, celery - not so much.
When I plan a party I want my children to have all of the fun and exciting party food but I don't want the Godzilla-esque scene to deal with afterwards.
Cue 'There's a carrot in my piñata'! This book has been a household staple for years. It combines all of the party food fun, with quite a bit more of the health.
The recipes in this book create amazing alternatives to the sugar-fuelled options, the kids don't have the after party sugar crash at the end of the day AND it all looks and tastes just as exciting.
If you like the sound of watermelon pizza, hedgehog cookies and mermaid bubbles, we are giving away a copy of this delightful book (valued at $30) absolutely free with any Toddler Kit or Ultimate Bundle purchase.
Simply purchase our Toddler Kit or our Ultimate Bundle and get There's a carrot in my piñata FREE!
Be quick, we only have a limited supply to giveaway.
Our Toddler Kit contains 4 of our most loved products (including our award winning Hide & Seek Kisses!). Keep them all at your house for the grandies to play with, give them all to one very lucky child or keep in the present cupboard for upcoming birthdays (or any day of the week really, you don't need a special occasion to give kisses). Our Ultimate Bundle really is Ultimate, and includes a whopping 10 of our products.
Simply:
1. Add our Toddler Kit or our Ultimate Bundle to your cart: https://thekissco.co.nz/collections/bundles
2. Add the book to your order: https://thekissco.co.nz/products/theres-a-carrot-in-my-pinata
3. Enter code carrot at the checkout and the book will appear FREE with your order.
Afterpay available + Free Shipping applies to this offer.
New Zealand orders only.
Covid is gradually allowing us to visit one another again, but there are still a lot of grandchildren and grandparents who remain physically distanced. The role of the grandparent plays such an important part of 'our village', and thanks to zoom + our phones, we are able to stay close even if we can't be together.
]]>Covid is gradually allowing us to visit one another again, but there are still a lot of grandchildren and grandparents who remain physically distanced. The role of the grandparent plays such an important part of 'our village', and thanks to zoom + our phones, we are able to stay close even if we can't be together.
If you are a grandparent, we want to help you share connection from afar with our FREE BOOK offer. Children love a routine. Organise a nightly call/zoom to hear about their day, or to read them a bedtime story to stay connected. How you can do this
- Arrange a time with their grown ups to call just before bedtime, bath time or another quiet time in the evening.
- Read a story together. Close the physical distance and enjoy connection with your GRANDCHILDREN, no matter how far apart you may be, by turning the pages of the same book together as you read to them.
Simply add the books you'd like to your order, and enter the code TKCFREEBOOK at the checkout. The code will make every second book, free!
We hope this helps ease the physical distance between you, and brings you closer together no matter how far apart you may be.
Copy code TKCFREEBOOK now, and start browsing our books about connection through affection here, Visit Our Books
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Parents everywhere agonise in secret, where did I go wrong...., should I have been softer / harder on my child?
To make things worse, we now have so much more information about what babies and children need - and it seems we can’t help but add to the guilt because of it.
I've been doing some research to cure my own guilt and it seems the key to letting go of guilt might be as simple as a change in perspective.
What we internalise (often from our own problematic childhoods ✋) is a huge sense of responsibility to do a better job, and as a result we notice so much more of what is going on - the resulting feelings of guilt are usually shared privately, making matters worse.
On top of it all (sorry this gets heavy before it gets better), we have the wonderful world of social media portraying perfect lives with perfect children as a result of perfect parenting. Luckily there's a shift happening out there showing the imperfect life too, but there's no doubt the perfect life is still the more widely demonstrated.
In one way or another we are all wounded as our role models were imperfect. And we will let our babies and children down too, and they have the right to protest, however damaging that is to our ego. So what can we do when we realised we have hurt our children? How do we deal with the guilt that weighs so heavily?
Step 1 - Identify the feeling - is it guilt?
Guilt is self-focussed, internalised, and often changes into denial to make it go away.
Remorse on the other hand builds love, it allows us to move on and let go. Could your guilt be remorse in disguise?
Step 2 - Understand we are not experts.
How can we be expert parents when we haven’t done it before? Would we beat ourselves up when we’re trying to learn other new things the same way we do for our parenting? The responsibility of the job is high, but it is all new to us, we are learning as we go.
It might be time to show yourself some empathy. Psychologists and counsellors spend years understanding how to relate to people, why is it that we plaster guilt on ourselves when we have an empathy lapse with our children?
It’s ok to feel remorse about what we have done, but there is no need for guilt.
Step 3 - Find the gaps in the village and work to fill them
This is a topic so close to my heart and one that I'd love to overcome one day! The village that we need and used to have, is missing from our culture. Parenting is done in private. Sociologists agree that we were designed to raise our children in groups. Parenting is meant to exist where help is at hand.
The fact that our new nuclear family is normal its normal doesn’t stop it from being unhealthy. Natures design was to have a village involved in raising children so tiredness didn’t become exhaustion. So, The next time you find yourself reacting impatiently, ask yourself if this is a sign you are not getting enough support. Its not a luxury, this is essential.
Step 4. Try compassion instead of guilt.
The next time you find yourself making a mistake, try to feel the guilt as remorse, apologise and reconnect with your child. Parenting does not improve because we seek better information and advise, what will transform our relationship with our children is our willingness to learn, heal and grow.
The benefit of letting guilt go.
When guilt is replaced by 'emotional honesty', relationships become stronger. Your little ones don't want you to beg for forgiveness but they do appreciate recognition that your behaviour hurt them. This teaches the wonderful lesson of forgiveness, and that no matter our size, we apologise when we do something wrong.
A loving relationship is not one in which hurt never happens. The most fulfilling relationship is one you are able to reach when you replace the guilt with remorse, apologise and grow from it.
It's all about letting go, stopping beating ourselves up and choosing emotions that serve us - not hurt us.
I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me ♥️
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For anyone who is battling this at the moment, here are some quick suggestions (backed by many psychologists) that I used in my book, Love Wings:
If you don't yet have a goodbye routine, here is an example:
Bring them to a place of calm
“Close your eyes, feel your fingers, feel your little toes. Let's take a breath together."
Identifying their feelings + give reassurance
"I know you feel worried and that's normal. Let's take a look around and see if there's anything to worry about. I see 'child' doing this, I see 'child' doing this. What can you see? (ask child to notice something fun) Can you see anything to worry about? (Let child answer, but if no answer, carry on...) Is it possible your brain is tricking you into thinking there is danger when there isn't any? Let’s take one more breath together, and then we’ll be ready to do our (insert your own special goodbye signal here - example could be 5 kisses), and I’ll see you again right in this spot when school is finished.”
Then you need to turn around and leave.
It WILL be hard but remember that you are teaching your child the skill of independence - and after a period of adjustment you will be able to enjoy happy, secure goodbyes.
Good luck, you got this!
Check out Love Wings where we have explained these concepts in story format for little ones.
(Reviews for Love Wings here too - just scroll to end of page)
It was ALL.JUST.SO.MUCH.
Then one day 3 months into the parenting gig I finally understood what I’d been missing that arrived by way of a moment with my son. I told him I’d brought him some kisses and kissed them all over his face. The emotion I felt in that moment was HUGE, it was a moment of pure joy.
Something shifted in me in that moment and I realised that this was what it was about. Connection.
I decided to wrap up the moment we had into a book that celebrates and builds connection. When you read the book you can’t help but slow down, forget all your troubles and focus on the moment you have and fill it with joy, kisses and cuddles.
I’ve since gone on to learn just how important affection and connection is for our little ones. For us to truly be there with them in the moment sets them up to cope with whatever this crazy world will throw at them.
(the picture on this blog is one my son gave me for Mother's Day, which I LOVE)
]]>Does being bilingual make your child smarter? Now that’s a big question!
Research has shown that bilingual (or multilingual) children have increased cognitive function. At a very basic level it means that if you’re bilingual, your brain is really great at doing multiple things at once!
Pat your head and rub your tummy? No problem! Hearing spoken words + seeing written words, then recalling which was actually spoken vs. written? Yep!
Switching between one language and another is a true cognitive workout for a person of any age, and simply exposing your child to a second language (other than their native language) can help boost cognition so their brain is primed to be amazing at critical thinking, problem-solving, and paying attention to important details. How cool is that?
When it comes to young children, every interaction is an opportunity to educate and connect in a way that helps them understand the world around them. When I wrote Love Wings I wanted to find a way to integrate Māori language into the storyline as it’s such an important part of New Zealand’s culture.
It’s been shown that bilingual preschoolers were better at understanding other people’s feelings, intentions, and perceptions than pre-schoolers who only knew one language. Other studies have indicated that bilingual/multilingual children may have better memories than those who only know one language.
Bilingual children tend to be more flexible thinkers as well, because they’ve had to learn to switch between languages during their day-to-day lives.
So, by snuggling up and reading some Love Wings together, you can actually help your child’s linguistic abilities more than if you were reading a regular children’s book.
I’ll be honest, I didn’t include Te Reo phrases and words in Love Wings for the possible cognitive benefits. I think that as New Zealanders, we should celebrate our country’s unique heritage through written and visual creative. Te Reo can be fun no matter what your ethnicity or cultural background is!
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Did you know that 90% of brain growth happens before kindergarten?
At birth, a baby’s brain is around a quarter of a typical adult brain. Incredibly it doubles in size in a baby’s first year of development before reaching 80% of the size of an adult brain by 3 years old, and 90% by 5 - it’s no wonder this is such a critical time for learning and absorbing information.
Within early childhood at least one million new neural connections are made every second, more than at any other time in life.
Different areas of the brain are responsible for different abilities, like movement, language and emotion, and develop at different rates, with connections layering and connecting in order to enable a human to undertake complex emotional and physical interactions - cool huh!
You’ve probably heard us mention this before but the early years are the best opportunity for a child’s brain to develop the connections they need to be healthy, capable, successful adults. The connections needed for many important, higher-level abilities like motivation, self-regulation, problem solving and communication are formed (or not formed) in these early years. It’s much more difficult for some of these essential brain connections to be formed later in life which is why it’s oh so important to expose your children to plenty of quality time, love and care.
https://thekissco.co.nz/collections/allOn top of that a child’s relationships with the grown ups in their life are the most important influences of their brain development. Quality, loving relationships with responsive adults are essential to a child’s healthy development. These relationships begin at home with parents and family, but also include child care providers, teachers and other members of their tribes like grandparents.
Even from birth, a young child’s desire to engage with their parents and caregivers is apparent. Babies do it by cooing, smiling and crying, with toddlers communicating their needs and interests more directly. Each of these little invitations is an opportunity for the caregiver to be responsive to the child’s emotional needs.
https://thekissco.co.nz/collections/all
When you (as parents and caregivers) give attention, respond and interact with your child you are literally building your little one’s brain. Talking, singing, reading and playing with young children from the day they’re born, gives them opportunities to explore their physical and emotional world, and provides a safe, stable and nurturing environment for them to grow into healthy young adults.
That’s why at The Kiss Co we prioritise quality time and connection in the younger years - it really does make a difference! Whether you’re mum, dad, or part of the extended family, your time and attention really does make a difference in nurturing a quickly developing brain.
Prioritise quality time and connection with your little ones with The Kiss Co, even a little quality one on one time at bedtime can make the world of difference!
Enjoy a little quality time with The Kiss Co
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https://thekissco.co.nz/collections/kiss-co-kids
So how do we incorporate gifting and empathy into a little one's life?
Start by practicing sharing!
Something as simple as sharing food, time together and maybe even toys can all help your toddler understand what it means to gift something to a friend or loved one. This practice of give and take makes up one of the key pillars in a connected, healthy brain.
Gifting doesn’t have to be just a physical thing! As an adult you probably know the joy that can come from simply spending devoted time connecting with your loved ones. Making space and time to connect and share precious moments with family and friends is an equally great place to demonstrate the joy of gifting and sharing with your little one.
For those of you who love to gift, or simply just love gifting your time, The Kiss Co book of kisses and cuddles is a great way to spend more quality time connecting with the smallest members of your family.
That’s why this week we’re running a Buy One, Give One Sale
(running for this week only!)
That means if you buy any book and we’ll give you a book for free to give to someone who needs more kisses and cuddles in their life.
https://thekissco.co.nz/collections/kiss-co-kids
This is the perfect way to teach the art of gifting and connection is by giving the gift of a kiss or a cuddle! Who knows maybe your little one will want to give their extra book to their best friend?
Happy Gifting!
https://thekissco.co.nz/collections/kiss-co-kids
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Before the age of 7, friendships are based on physical (same age or gender) or geographical considerations (like next-door neighbours or friends from kindy) and are rather self-centred. A friend is a playmate who lives nearby and has “cool” toys, and likes the same games. There is little or no understanding of the other person’s perspective or feelings, or personality traits other than the avoidance of a playmate because “they are mean.”
During the next stage of development (ages 7-9) the idea of reciprocity and awareness of the other child’s feelings begins. In this stage they begin perspective taking and develop the recognition of how another child might feel in regards to their actions. Based on current research it appears that perspective taking is more dominant in girls than boys at this stage and throughout subsequent stages of development.
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Though friendships follow a somewhat predictable developmental sequence, not all children progress at the same rate. Delays in this area are not necessarily a cause for concern, just like adults, some children need or enjoy more alone time than others do! What you can do is ensure you’re putting in place plenty of opportunities for play and conversations that encourage intimacy and building connection.
Modelling the importance of staying connected with your own friends helps your little ones understand how to develop and nurture friendships. Likewise, encouraging friendships that are important to your child are a great way to model prioritising connection. If there is a relationship that brings your child joy, support it! Scheduling time for them (just like how you would with a friend) teaches them to value quality time with the ones they love.
For the little ones who are shy and struggle to make friends and children who would just love more quality time with Mum, Dad or Nan & Pops, The Kiss Co books and toys are a great way to open up time & space to connect.
Share the love and give the gift of a kiss & a cuddle knowing you're creating time for friendship and connection.
Until next time,
Ami
Sources:
Coie, J.D., Dodge, K.A. & Coppotelli, H. (1982). Dimensions and types of social status: A cross-age perspective. Developmental Psychology, 18(4), 557–570.
https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-32/march-2019/childrens-friendships
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/12/parenting/childhood-friendships.html
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We decided to give him him a gift ‘from the Baby’ when they met for the first time, and leading up to this we spoke a lot about the exciting times ahead, trying to involve him as much as we could in the process. We wanted him to feel as important as he always had.
https://thekissco.co.nz/collections/toys-1/products/sibling-set
Often when a new baby arrives, the focus is (of course) on the bright new bundle of joy rather than the sibling. We had some very thoughtful friends and family that had ‘been through it before’ and brought something small for him when they visited. They also made sure to play with him, and involve him in the excitement.
Simply acknowledging the Siblings ‘important new role’ while you’re soaking in the newborn bundle is enough. However, we know how much little children cherish gifts with love and meaning - and we also know that gifts ‘from Baby’ help the two to bond early and feel connected to each other from the start.
We love inventing toys, and we wanted to use the arrival of a new baby as an excuse to create what I’d call our most heartfelt one. The gift is connected - one toy for each child, bonding them from the start - and, as we know how an older child very often compares what they have with their sibling, our set comes with a card ‘from Baby’ that lets the Sibling choose which one they get to keep.
We put all of our love into this gift, and we hope it helps any new Sibling with the exciting new transition of welcoming a brand new member of the family.
https://thekissco.co.nz/collections/toys-1/products/sibling-set
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I had no idea for a topic but I am sitting here in such a grateful state, I thought I'd talk about that.
7 years ago(!?), The Kiss Co started with a little idea to write a book for our then 3 month old. 2.5 years after that and the birth of our second child (and working in between), I gave myself 12 months to find an alternative to going back to work. My sights were set elsewhere at that time, and I opened Pepa, our stationery store which I was absolutely in love with. As the birth of our 3rd child was approaching I realised I’d taken on too much, and we sold our store to the wonderful Hannah who runs it today.
Over the past 7 (!?) years, The Kiss Co has been a constant in my life. From it being a side hustle while I worked, to it being pushed aside while I fell in love with shiny new things, to it becoming my full time focus to pivot to survive when the world locked down, to it now being my absolute passion.
Every day I work on this business it appears to grows and change as I do. I’m so grateful that I have found a way to express myself creatively as well as send the messages to children that I wish I had received as a child.
So that’s all for today. Thank you so much for being part of this with me, like all small businesses - we wouldn’t survive if it wasn’t for you.
Ami
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Being a full time Mum didn’t work for me. Being in a job full time didn’t work for me. A full time working Mother still (and I’ll argue with anyone who disagrees) picks up the majority of the load if both parents are working full time. That made me really upset. I knew there was a better way. I wanted a business so I could get the best of both worlds - my own hours around my role as a Mother. Less guilt.
It was a moment of inspiration with my own child that started my business. I noticed how much joy we shared in this one very specific magical moment. This moment made me realise that it’s not the quantity of time with children that matters, it’s turning some of the moments you have info magic.
I wanted to help busy Mothers feel less guilt by showing them that even if they only have a moment - that moment is an opportunity for magic. An un-proportionate amount of joy.
I created a book that has become more of an experience for parents - a way to put aside the things you need to do - and bring both Parent and Child together in seconds using our characters of affection; ‘Kiss’ and ‘Cuddle’. The overwhelming affection in the book helps the parent be present. And these moments of shared affection do wonders for the child too.
I didn’t want Mother’s to miss out on daily moments of joy with their children because they were overwhelmed with guilt for not having enough time.
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But, did the success of the business mean I’d lost sight of the lesson I was trying to teach others? I had got really busy again.
I realised that the problem was never my job - it was me. I had just made the same choice twice - to work. And actually what I was hoping to impart on the world I could impart on myself - you shouldn’t have to quit your job if you (as a Mother) want to work. We just need tools and mechanisms to encourage quality time with our children in the moments we do have. We need to be with them when we are with them. And that alone is enough.
I love the mix of business and parenting and I hope the other women out there can be at peace with what the balance means for them, and remember that memories are made of moments. It’s something I have to continue to remind myself of, and do the best job with the balance I have chosen for myself.
Messages I get from customers make working for me, a very worthwhile choice:
“I brought two books for my son who was struggling with his first year at school. It was a special time to sit and connect. They have such a simple and beautiful message.” Justine D.
“I can’t think of better stories to read to my baby girl then books filled with cuddles and kisses. These are definitely the perfect purchase” Waihoea H.
“I sent this to my nieces (11 yrs & 8 yrs) in Scotland who I miss every day, I wanted them to know how special they are to my world. I just received this message from their mum "The girls absolutely love the books you sent. They are brilliant, we have been reading them most nights. Georgia loves to read them to herself too." I received a video on the 8yr old reading The Gift of a Cuddle - melted my heart. SO happy with the purchase - thank you for creating this gift that makes the world seem a little smaller.” Jenni W
We saw a huge change in the business over covid - with grandparents not being able to see their children but wanting to send them love from afar - I got so much satisfaction from that and reassurance that spending my time working on this brand is a very worthwhile and loved use of my time. As are my Children.
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Here at the Kiss Co we are passionate about nurturing affection and quality time with the babies and children in our lives. We also know the challenges that we all face as parents and caregivers when the school holidays, and cooler days arrive - so often faced with the daily question of how to keep our little ones occupied, without compromising on these values.
One-on-one time with children - sharing affection, and encouraging communication around feelings and emotions not only creates stronger bonds with you, siblings, and family members, but also encourages them to grow up with a better ability to forge lasting, healthy relationships, friendships and be better able to express themselves out in the world.
The great news is that this all begins at home, and needs little more than a bit of dedicated time and attention each day. And what’s more, it can be taught via creativity and fun, using things already existing in our immediate environment!
We’ve put together some of our favourite school holiday activities that you can do with your children either at home, or in your local neighbourhood, that help encourage togetherness, love and affection, and will keep little hands and minds content and occupied all holiday-long!
EYE-SPY BAGS AND BOTTLES
Eye-Spy bags, bottles and jars are a favourite way of creating a means of sensory play at home. They are quick, easy and inexpensive to make, and don’t require a lot of room or equipment. The building of them is a perfect activity to undertake together, and to collaborate on, and your kids will love adding the fillings to the jars and bags. We love the way in which Eye Spy bags and bottles can be made in varying difficulties for different ages, keep children stimulated and occupied as well as being something that you can play with together, creating a quiet shared moment.
Eye-Spy Bag Link:
https://parentingchaos.com/no-sew-i-spy-bags/
Eye-Spy Bottle Link: https://www.thebestideasforkids.com/i-spy-alphabet-bottle/
PLANT A HERB GARDEN
A few seeds, a pot of soil and a sunny window sill are all that you need to create a simple herb garden with your kids. By planting seeds, caring for them, and watching them grow you are teaching children about nature, and the importance of care, love and patience. They’ll love seeing the seeds sprout over the holidays, and in time you can use the herbs in family meals and baking, another activity you can do together - showing little ones the rewards for hard work, affection and patience.
Chives, parsley, basil, mint, oregano and micro-greens are all easy to grow from seed and thrive in indoor growing locations.
CREATE A CARD FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL
Ask your child who they would like to make a card for and talk about why they chose that person. Is that person kind to them? Do they enjoy spending time with that person? Think about how that person makes you feel and how we can try to display those same qualities to other people around us. Make a card for the person and arrange to get it to them by post or by dropping it off in person.
SHOW LOVE FOR THE PLANET
When we care about the environment, we care for it as best we can and in turn are teaching our kids compassion and consideration for the world and others around them. Collect trash on the street, gather up recyclable items in your home, or do some gardening outside, or head to the beach to forage for plastic debris. Explain how actions must go along with our verbal expressions of love. By showing loving actions to the world around us, and not just saying the words “I love you,” we are embodying the sentiment itself. We can show love to everyone and everything around us by looking out for what each person or thing needs to be happy and healthy, whilst doing our bit for mother nature.
READING TIME
Nothing beats the quality one-on-one quiet time that reading brings. Whether it’s a visit to the library to find new books, or it’s well-worn, much beloved family favourite, the bond you build, and affection shared during storytime is priceless and will stay with your kids for a lifetime.
The Kiss Co’s range of books for babies and children teach affection and love, and are the perfect way to express these feelings and actions with your kids in an interactive, cooperative way.
Today, the idea of tutting those words at our children as the basis of our parenting ideology seems farcical. And yet it wasn’t so long ago that this, and many other ideas like this, were commonplace.
The history of childhood is a fascinating subject that stretches far beyond being about what toys were in vogue at the time. Our attitudes and beliefs towards raising children were so often a reflection of where our society was economically, technologically, scientifically and shaped by external events such as wars and social movements.
The modern idea of childhood emerged by the late 19th century and has continued to evolve and transform throughout the last 200 years.
In the 1850s, the Industrial Revolution created the factory and new machinery removed our reliance on human labour in production. Before this time, children were a large part of manufacturing - small agile bodies, and nimble fingers were put to work from an early age in almost every sector, from chimney sweeps, farming to even weaving the threads on intricate fabrics in the garment industry. Before this time, there was no such thing as childhood, especially in the working classes. As a child you were expected to help and contribute to the family as soon as you were able. And so, with the industrial age, came our modern idea of childhood.
In 1894, American Doctor, Luther Emmett Holt published the book, ‘The Care and Feeding of Children’. Holt was passionate about routine and record-keeping and his advice echoed societies newfound reliance on machine production. After all, if machinery can be reliable and scheduled, then so should children! Holt advocated all children should be treated the same, regardless of temperament or needs. Parents were told that children were to be fed at the same times, never to be played with, and no affection was to be given. He believed that a stern approach was best for the future character of the child, and these theories remained popular right through until the early 20th century.
Browse our range of books and toys that support affection!
In the 1920’s American Psychologist John B Watson, building on Holt’s ideas, became the most prominent childcare expert. Watson had been heavily involved in strategy and planning in World War One, aiding the government's attempts to control the enemy through psychology. His work during the war clearly influenced his parenting theories and his book “Psychological Care of Infant and Child” focused heavily on controlling children. Mothers were told to shake off their instinct to hug their children and instead should shake their hands! He was quoted as saying “If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when they say goodnight. You will soon be ashamed at the sentimental way you have been handling it." Holt advocated that babies should be left to cry, rather than responded to, so that they didn’t learn to manipulate their parents. Watson’s work certainly reduced the time parents spent with their children, perhaps affording them time to work hard rebuilding their country after the war.
Browse our range of books and toys that support affection!
The Second World War was responsible for the next big change in childcare philosophy. British Psychologist John Bowlby became interested in the emotional effects of children who had been orphaned, alongside those who had been evacuated and hospitalised during the war. Bowlby had noticed that children who had been hospitalised were forbidden from having visitors, even their own parents suffered from what he termed ‘maternal deprivation’. This spurred his work on Attachment Theory, the idea that children need free access to their primary attachment figure (usually their mother, at this time) to grow up happy and emotionally healthy.
This shift towards attention and affection coincided with the rise of the mid-century housewife. Dr Benjamin Spock, pushed the idea that women should stay home with their children. His 1946 book “Baby and Childcare” is still the bestselling childcare book of all time. In it, women were expected to stay home and raise their children full time, and be there for them 24/7.
By the 1970s, however, an increasing number of women were returning to the workplace, due to a rise in feminism, women's liberation, and also divorce. The work of Spock became unfashionable with the family structure becoming more diverse, and the stay-at-home mom model, unrealistic and out of date. By the 1990s over 70% of mothers were working and a more authoritarian attitude of child-rearing made a comeback with Gina Ford’s bestseller ‘The Contented Little Baby Book’. Ford advocated for strict routines and leaving babies to cry to get them sleeping through the night. There is undoubtedly a large cross-over between Ford’s advice and the need for children to be less bothered by their busy working parents and Ford’s ideas were debunked by professional bodies for not meeting the wellbeing and needs of children.
Browse our range of books and toys that support affection!
Today, supported by scientific and academic advances in how we are able to study and monitor psychological and neurological images, we cannot deny the importance of quality time, affection and interaction with our children. The saying ‘Children should be seen and not heard’ is thankfully obsolete and instead we crave activities where we interact and converse with our children. Playtime, reading and shared activities are proven ways to build strong bonds with our kids, enhance emotional intelligence, and improve the chances of our kids growing up to be stable, compassionate, adults with healthy relationships and empathy.
With the past, and it’s antiquated beliefs regarding child rearing, thankfully well behind us, we as parents are caregivers have never been so well informed about the benefits of quality time and affection, and this 1-1 time has become something we cherish and aim to build on rather than resent. All we can ever hope for is that our kids grow up healthy, happy and emotionally intune with their surroundings.
With a focus on affection and interaction, and a little help from thoughtful and loving books and toys from the Kiss Co, we’ll know we are giving the best chances of this possible for the next generation and beyond.
]]>New Year goal setting and intentions can be a daunting prospect when we look at them as a whole. We so often proclaim things like ‘I will run a marathon!’ or ‘this year I’ll read 100 books!’ but then the sheer scale of the task hits us in the face, like a mountain bursting out of the ground. So often give up before we’ve even begun because, well, who could blame us?!
The old saying that ‘a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step’ is one that we could all benefit from remembering as we enter a fresh year full of good aspirations and goals - and it’s never better applied than to our own intentions to be more mindful, present and better parents, grandparents and caregivers.
The great news is that when it comes to parenting intentions, the biggest changes grow from the little actions that we do every day. The smallest of changes can be that crucial single step in the massive journey that is raising children.
Recent studies into the connection between the amount of time caregivers spend with their children, and their academic achievement, behavior, and emotional well-being, reinforced the point that quality of time is much more important than quantity of time.
Children need high-quality time with parents and caregivers—that is what is most beneficial to children and what can have a positive effect on them as they grow.
Below are some suggestions of small steps that you can take each day to ensure time spent with our children is high-quality, and meaningful:
Here at The Kiss Co. we believe that connections with our kids are about quality of time, not quantity of time. Through our books, stories and toys, we offer the inspiration and tools to create slow moments so together you can love, laugh and share no matter how busy our day-to-day lives are.
Remember; every connection we make, no matter how small, has a lasting impact and creates security, emotional connections and loving memories that your child will cherish for a lifetime.
Browse our range nowThe constant need to ‘get it all done’ so often means we become uptight, anxious and flustered when things don’t go to plan, and life gets in the way (as it always will!). We all know that cycle of negativity when we get overwhelmed and overbusy, feeling like there’s not enough hours in the day. We have to compromise. We blame ourselves. We feel like failures.
What if this year we prioritised slowing down, instead of speeding up?
Creating an environment at home that practises and encourages flexibility, mindfulness and being in the present are all great ways to relieve stress, teach patience, compassion, kindness, mindfulness and love - not only to our children, but to ourselves.
Taking time to slow down, shows your children that they are the most important thing in your day. To have time to listen to them and their stories, share activities and make space to play, read and imagine, builds their confidence, sense of security and self-esteem.
When we pause, take a deep breath, slow down and be in the present it’s amazing how we suddenly begin to notice the little moments of joy and spontaneity with our kids that would have been missed in our everyday rush. And these benefits can be felt in as little as ten minutes of mindful, slow, time.
At the Kiss Co we know too well the significance of making the moment matter and slowing down. By offering the inspiration and tools to create slow moments so together we can love, laugh and share no matter how busy our day-to-day lives are.
Our range of beautifully illustrated childrens’ books, characters and toys are created to give you and your kids quiet, quality time - the sense of increased connection and unconditional love can be nurtured in the space of a story.
We are here to help you enjoy the little things, because we understand how big the little things are.
]]>Malcolm Clarke
www.tumeketui.com
Tu Meke Tūī is a beautiful story of friendship and courage written by Malcolm Clarke. It is lavishly illustrated by Hayley King, aka Flox - known throughout New Zealand for her distinctive native botanical and wildlife inspired murals, stencil and street art. Tu Meke Tūī’s motto of ‘there’s more to being a bird than flying’ teaches children that often in life it’s our differences which make us truly special. The illustrations are gorgeous, vibrant, and will keep your little audience completely captivated. Tu Meke Tūī is also available in Te reo.
KUWI THE KIWI SERIES
Kat Merewether
We’re in love with the utterly adorable Kuwi the Kiwi’s bestselling and award winning series of kids’ books by Kat Merewether. There are currently four different books available - KUWI’S FIRST EGG, KUWI’S HUHU HUNT, KIWI’S VERY SHINY BUM and KUWI’S ROWDY CROWD - as well as a Māori picture dictionary, and Te reo editions of each. Kuwi the Kiwi is the perfect quirky and quintessentially Aotearoa series that will get your children discovering Te reo Māori, whilst enjoying Kuwi and friends' cute adventures. What’s more, 20c from every book sold goes towards the Kiwi for Kiwi fund, to help with the ongoing protection of our most iconic native bird and mascot.
THE WHEELS ON THE BUS
Donovan Bixley
Everyone knows the tune and now the popular song that your kids love to sing, The Wheels on the Bus gets a Kiwi makeover in this fun and vibrant version by Donovan Bixley. Join a selection of iconic New Zealand creatures as they tiki-tour through Aotearoa - from cape Reinga to Milford Sound – taking in famous parts of the kiwi landscape along the way. Beautifully illustrated, with vibrant and fun images - your preschoolers will love joining in with this book and helping to find the distinctly New Zealand wildlife that makes up the passengers: kiwi, penguin, tuatara, fantail and many more.
THE LITTLE YELLOW DIGGER
Betty and Alan Gilderdale
So much of a kiwi classic, that you could call it the onion soup dip children's books, Betty and Alan Gilderdale’s The Little Yellow Digger has been enthralling and entertaining generations of New Zealand kids since 1993. A fantastic picture book for kids learning how to read - The Little Yellow Digger has a simple and clear text with a solid rhyming scheme, awesome bright pictures, and a practical message that children will pick up with ease. Perfect for the truck, car, bus and transport loving kids in your life (we all know one!) - The Little Yellow Digger will feed the imagination of children all ages.
STOMP!
Ruth Paul
www.ruthpaul.co.nz
STOMP! is an exciting dinosaur follow-the-leader story that children love. Follow Ruth Paul's colourful and vibrant dinosaurs as they HOP, STOMP and ROAR their way through the pages of this beautifully illustrated book. You kids will love tiptoeing, roaring and stretching their way through this fun and captivating adventure that encourages interaction, engagement and movement.Your little dinosaurs will be exhausted in no time!
]]>We all want to imagine our children growing up together and becoming the kind of siblings who are the best of friends, knowing that they’ll always have each other's backs and be a team, no matter what - but how do we help our kids build that depth of relationship from an early age?
Research has shown that sibling relationships often play a major role in how we will interact in other relationships with friends, romantic partners, and others later in life.
It all begins with implementing strong values at home. Parents play the key role in helping nurture a good sibling relationship and reduce negative behaviour patterns with each other, sibling rivalry and conflict. By encouraging activities that foster teamwork, setting kids up to have fun together, and giving kids the tools to work out conflicts in a constructive and respectful manner, parents can help siblings develop a good relationship that will carry them through the rest of their lives.
Here are some recommended strategies and values to help your children build a strong and enduring relationship with each other from the start:
Avoid comparing your kids to one another
Teach siblings to appreciate and celebrate each others differences
Have siblings team up for activities and household chores
Teach the importance of respect & how to respectfully disagree
Allow each child to have their own personal space
Talk through the feelings that led to actions
Make time for fun & unstructured playtime
There are many benefits of positive sibling relationships, including support, friendship, and connection.
In fostering the sibling relationship, parents teach young children to show empathy and compassion for others.
When we think back on our own childhoods, some of our most potent memories are that of being read to by our parents. I know myself that I can’t remember most of the toys that I had in my early years, but I sure do remember my first books.
Thumpity Thump Gets Dressed was my favourite book when I was young. My parents read it to me every night, over and over...and over and over...until I knew every single word myself, and the storytime became more of a recital as I quoted the entire book back to my parents. It didn’t matter how many hundreds of times I’d heard it, every time felt like the first!
30 years later and I can still recall every word from that book.
“Thumpity Thump got out of bed one sunny morning. ‘I’d like to swim today,’ he said...”
I’m sure my recollection isn’t at all unusual. We all had that book or story that we asked for ‘Again!” and ‘Again!”, no matter how many times we had heard it, because to a child, the beloved book is about so much more than hearing the story - sitting down to read together means quality time, security, comfort and love.
And the memories don’t lie - numerous studies have proved that here is no more impactful way to spend time with your child, and way to prepare your child to succeed as a reader, than reading aloud together.
Babies and young children are sponges that soak in practically everything in their environments. Even during story time, their minds are at work, taking in all the language they hear, colours, shapes, objects and lessons the characters learn.
Children learn to love the sound of language before they even notice the existence of words on a page. Reading books aloud to children stimulates their imagination and expands their understanding of the world. It helps them develop language and listening skills and prepares them to understand the written word. When the rhythm and melody of language become a part of your kids life, learning to read will be as natural as learning to walk and talk.
Reading to your child — at any age — will boost their brain development, your bond, and so much more. And all it takes is a few books, motivation, and a little time.
The advice is simple: Be consistent, be patient, read to your child early and often, and watch the magic work!
The Kiss Co’s range of beautifully illustrated children’s books are designed to maximise reading as a meaningful and nurturing experience for both child and adult. We are here to make it easy to experience tiny moments of love, because we understand how much the little things matter.
As a parent, you can be sure that you are raising a reader, and maximising your quality time whenever you sit down together. To your child - the books are simply a joyful experience. Approachable, fun, nurturing, interactive...and most of all, it’s time spent with you.
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2. LUNCHBOXES
I am a sucker for good looking, practical and long-lasting lunchboxes. I can't bring myself to spend this much on a 'normal day', but can definitely justify this at Christmas! If you want to Christmas it up, fill it up the box with something they'll love on the day. Purchasable from The Lunchbox Queen.
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3. BLOCKS
It's not possible to have too many blocks! We love how long-lasting these are through the stages - from baby to pre schooler. Available from the gorgeous Little and Loved, these silicone building blocks are made by the beautiful company, Petite Eats.
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4. GAMES
My great Aunt used to send money to us each Christmas - to be spent on a game. We used to go shopping as a family to choose the game and its a tradition I treasure. We ended up with a very enviable games cupboard, and the games cupboard in our family home is heading the same way. Games provide a wonderful way for a family to spend time together and last far past Christmas Day. I love this Balancing game from Little and Loved.
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5. MOMENTS
Sharing moments of affection is what we believe is important so number 5 is from our range. We have chosen 'I Got You Some Kisses'. We are always receiving such wonderful feedback about our first foray into business, and we are so proud this book is now being received warmly globally, too. Kids love the moments this book creates, and we hear it is a consistent bedtime 'ask'. Available through a range of stores in New Zealand, including ours.
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If you found this gift guide useful, free to pass it along to some other grownups you know!
Got any suggestions? I'd love to hear from you - just email me hello@thekissco.co.nz
Ami
Parenting in a mindful manner - which means being present in the moments you have - shows tremendous benefits for both the parent and the child. Parents who are able to practise mindfulness - or be mindful - are likely to have lower levels of depression and stress.
Mindfulness is often over-complicated, but can be as simple as participating in a child’s fascination with the world. Being present in this way helps a parent to see the child’s perspective, in turn brushing away the day’s busyness - which alone allows a parent and their child to connect on a much deeper level.
The bonding a parent and their child can experience when the parent is looking at the world from their child’s perspective is a reward like nothing else. Seeing the world through a child’s eyes is magical, and it can happen in any moment you are able to let it.
Our children are always here hoping we’ll listen, and its as simple as finding moments to do just that.
If it feels like you’re striving towards unachievable parenting goals, perhaps you need to get rid of some of the mind-clutter and trust your instincts - truly hear what your child is saying to you, get on the floor and look at the bug they’re about to squish.
]]>Are we teaching our kids, or are they teaching us?